A great first message can determine whether a conversation takes off or fades into silence. Many dating app users struggle to get responses because they rely on generic openers that fail to capture interest. If you’re tired of being ignored, it’s time to rethink your approach. This guide outlines effective first message strategies that increase response rates and help you make meaningful connections.

Understanding What Makes a Great First Message

Personalization Matters

Generic messages like “Hey” or “How are you?” often go unanswered. A personalized message shows effort and makes it clear that you’ve taken the time to read the person’s profile.

Keep the Tone Friendly and Engaging

Your message should feel natural and inviting. Avoid being overly formal, robotic, or too intense. A relaxed and confident tone encourages a response.

Find the Right Length

A short message can seem lazy, while a long paragraph may feel overwhelming. Aim for two to three sentences that are easy to read and engaging.

First Message Strategies That Work

1. Personalization: Reference Their Profile

Mention something specific from their bio or photos to create an instant connection.
Example: “I saw you love hiking—what’s the best trail you’ve ever explored?”

2. Use Humor to Stand Out

A well-placed joke or witty remark can make your message more memorable.
Example: “So, does your dog approve of new people, or do I need to pass a test first?”

3. Ask Engaging Questions

People enjoy talking about themselves, and a well-thought-out question can keep the conversation flowing.
Example: “What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?”

4. Keep It Simple and Direct

A direct but friendly approach can be refreshing.
Example: “Hey [Name], what’s something fun you did this weekend?”

5. Compliment the Right Way

Instead of focusing on appearance, compliment their interests or personality.
Example: “Your travel photos are amazing. What’s been your favorite destination so far?”

6. Share a Relatable Opinion or Experience

Finding common ground makes the conversation more natural.
Example: “I saw you love sushi—do you have a go-to roll, or do you always try something new?”

7. Avoid Overused Openers

Avoid messages like “Hey,” “What’s up?” or “How’s your day?” as they rarely spark engagement. Be creative to increase your chances of getting a response.

Timing and Follow-Ups

Best Time to Send a Message

• Evening hours (6–10 PM) generally have higher response rates.
• Weekends are ideal since people have more free time.

How Long to Wait Before Following Up

• If there’s no response within 48 hours, one polite follow-up is acceptable.
• If there’s still no reply, move on rather than sending multiple messages.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

• Overly Long Messages – Keep it concise and easy to read.
• Copy-Pasting the Same Message – Generic messages feel impersonal.
• Being Too Aggressive – Respect their space and avoid pushy language.
• Grammar and Spelling Mistakes – Poorly written messages can leave a bad impression.

Conclusion

Getting responses on dating apps is not about luck—it’s about strategy. A well-crafted message with personalization, humor, and engaging questions increases the likelihood of a reply. Keep your messages short, confident, and unique to stand out. Experiment with different approaches and refine your strategy based on responses. A great conversation could be just one message away.